Some people master the rollercoaster ride life offers them, and some don’t. Why? It is an easy question to answer. The successful ones believe in themselves and their ability to win. While the others feel overwhelmed by life’s ambivalences. They do so because their fearful thoughts keep them frozen in indecision, unable to make progress, due to fear of failure. If they only knew that “they were not their thoughts” improvement would be certain.

The reasons for feeling negative about yourself are numerous. Growing up in a disfunctional family. The criticism of inexperienced teachers. Comparing yourself to, and competing with, others. Holding unrealistic expectations of performance and many more. The reasons don’t matter, they’re history. What matters is now. This present moment. What do you do now to change your life.

First. Realize that “you are not your thoughts.” Your thoughts are under your control at all times. There are no exceptions to this. People do not make you angry; you allow yourself to become angry. People do not depress you; you depress yourself. Your emotions are controlled by you and you alone. Quit reacting to others in a knee-jerk fashion and start thinking.

Second. Get away from all the negative stuffs you possibly can. Don’t watch or read the daily news. If something important happens, a friend will let you know. Don’t go to negative movies, read negative books, etc. Stop eating and drinking things that have a negative effect on you — booze, cigarettes, snuff, drugs, etc. Not easy, huh! Well, quit as many as you can now, the others will come later.

Third. Start working with positive things. Read self-help books, inspirational books, biographies of famous people, etc. Join a support group, make friends with positive people. Do affirmations and exercises with positive statements. Look over the method of help located at this site. Devote some time everyday to work with understanding yourself. If you don’t help yourself, who will.

Whether you believe it or not — you are eternal. Within you is a light and love so powerful, so beautiful, that it can not be described in human language. You can’t fail. You will succeed. You are always safe and secure. Your Creator is proud of you and never loses faith in you. Don’t lose faith in yourself.
(P.S.: Ha… Too much psychology and too much Paul Haggis. I’m posting this to help myself. Hopefully, it will help you, too.)

2008.11.15, my happiest day of 2008. 最高な友達ナティーとナビと一緒に★DIR EN GREY TOUR 2008 THE ROSE TRIMS AGAIN★に行った☆☆☆

We waited in the rain for 4 hours, got sick, and, almost died, but it was worth it!!! I always have been a fan of Dir En Grey, when I knew they were coming to Montreal, my mouth dropped. I just couldn’t believe it… They were the first Japanese rock band that ever performed here, even in Canada!!! You have no idea how fucking happy I was, speechless, just indescribable!!!

THE CONCERT FINALLY BEGUN!!! After this long waiting… Seeing them in Montreal was so different. The feeling… It was so different. I’ve been to their concerts in Japan and Germany, but them coming and performing in Montreal, it just made me feel proud somehow. When Kyo yelled out “MONTREAL!!! MONTREAL!!! MONTREAL!!!” and hit his chest with the mic, my eyes were wet… So proud!!!

Kyo was a no show at the fan meeting, nor the album sign after the show, but he wasn’t anti-social. He just needed to be so concentrated before the show, and after the show, I think he just needed some rest immediately. I mean… Watching this monster performing, you know what it takes to do that!!! Kyo’s always my favourite, so is Kaoru!!! He is just so cute!!! He he!!!

Okay… When I said we almost died at the concert, I meant ALMOST DIED! That was my first NDE (Near Death Experience). When Kyo came on stage, he spitted!!! Yes!!! He spitted water!!! My face was all wet… Since we were so so so close to him. And that’s when people lost their control, they started jumping and pushing… Before the concert started, people were trying to push us away and steal our best spots!!! I was like guarding my spot with my life, I didn’t eat for the whole day, stood in the heavy rain for 4 hours, I was all wet, went home to change my clothes, got wet again, my back was giving up on me, and I used all my strength that’s left in me to guard my spot!!! Oh finally, the concert started, I didn’t know what happened… Suddenly… People in the crow were like pushing me to the front front, yeah, they were trying to steal my spot and then they tried to push me to the front, huh???

コンサートは終わりました。泣く泣く泣く…　また来年！

We escaped the NDE and went on to the second floor… I would die for them, but not yet… I can’t die before I meet Gackt again!!! Ha ha ha!!! Why did we give up our spots??? Because something worse happened!!! People were smoking weed in the crow… Too hyyper, or whatever… A huge dude lifted me up and put me before him, I was holding Nabi’s hand really tight because we didn’t want to be apart!!! That guy put me in his front, but Nabi was trapped under his stinky arm!!! That dude was like sweating and smelling real bad!!! And then… There was this lesbian or transsexual… She was pushing people around us away and making a circle for me!!! She was so weird!!! She was like touching me and hugging me. She kept asking me if I was ok!!! Some crazy kid tried to get ahead of me and she fought for me and pushed him out of the crow… Naty tried to get closer to me and that freaky lesbian hit her, what the fuck!!! I told her that Naty was with me, but she still pushed her, crazy!!! She somehow tried to separate Nabi and I because we were holding hands, she got between us and grabbed my left hand, dragging me away from her, but hell no!!! I wasn’t letting Nabi go!!! We couldn’t be separated!!! Right at this moment… The crow started to wave!!! Oh no!!! The crow was gonna fall!!! We were gonna fall!!! If we had fallen, we probably had died… Sorry, Kyo!!! I couldn’t die yet!!!

Therefore, we escaped death and got out of that crow as fast as we could and went to the second floor. That freaky lesbian was still holding my hand and not letting me go… Oh man… Lucky that I was able escape!!!

After the concert was finished, we waited Gackt knows for how long to get our CDs signed. They really gave me some fan service!!! Kaoru wrote my name down and Toshiya shaked my hand!!! We weren’t allowed to touch them!!! The two girls before me tried to shake their hands but the guards told them not to. But when Toshiya saw me, he put the pen into his mouth, held my CD, and freed his right hand, he wanted to shake my hand!!! Mu ha ha ha!!! Guards, get away!!! Wa ha ha ha ha!!! I looked back after they signed my CD, the girl after us tired to do the same, but Toshiya only signed her CD, didn’t shake her hand, mu ha ha ha ha!!! My 11 fan years was worth it!!! Kaoru!!! Toshiya!!! 愛している！

夜が、終わりだ。

I was happy, I was so happy, I felt like the luckiest person in the world for one second!!! We left Le Medley and walked back to my place. On our way back, we were like all hyper and still excited!!! I was singing out loud and dancing on the street and Nabi was taking pictures of us, wa ha ha ha!!! Damn!!! I was satisfied!!!

Naty and another friend went home right after. Nabi and I went to eat in Chinatown. Nabi stayed at my place.

I was pissed, though. Because… Montrealers are so fucking stupid!!! Of Dir En Grey is going to think like that. At least most of them that went to the concert. I heard people asking who they were and trying to figure out who was whom. What the hell… You got this hyper but you didn’t even know why they were??? When the technicians went on stage and checked the instruments… They basically thought they were the band members and screamed out loud… After they finally realized they were just technicians, they were like “Techniciens! Techniciens! Techniciens!” Yes, in French… Oushit! When they saw the drum tester testing the drums… They thought he was the drummer. Oh my Gackt… I felt so ashamed for 2 seconds…

But WOO!!! WOO!!! WOO!!! I LOVE ~ ROCK ‘N’ ROLL ~ NO MUSIC, NO LIFE! INDEED!!! I just hope from now on, more Japanese artists and bands will come to Canada!!! It’s nice to see their live in Japan, but I’m just so proud to see them here!!!

今週は超楽しかった！最近久しく見ないほど間を空けてしまいました。金曜日はカラオケに行ってきました。

最近の私は妙にリア充です。

そう、カラオケ。基本はいつも同じ人と言ってるので、お互いの選曲やら態度やらがわかってるんですが。

なんかついつい無難なのを探す傾向にあります。宇多田とか浜崎とかいれちゃいましたよ。なんて無難。LOVE PSYCHEDELICOとか歌える人はすごいなあと思います。マジで。

俺たちー★　ハハハッー★　はい、「俺」！

携帯！！！Skullized, lol!!!　ロック！

Oh my Vivienne Westwood!!!

TOUCH WOOD!!!

大好き！Vivienne Westwood最高★

Holt Renfrewのprivate saleに行った…

Got bored while I was waiting for the taxi…

野菜鍋をした…　That’s because we had so much 野菜 left from the other night and I personally had to find a way to eat them all before they go weird. Actually… I had eaten 野菜鍋 ONLY for the next 3 days something…

『SPEED』を見た！キアヌ・リーヴスが超大好き♪♪　あの男の子は…　私のchildhood crush♪♪　Oh my Gackt, it still looks this good 14 years after. Oh my Gackt oh my Gackt!!! Hyper!!!

Ha ha ha, I couldn’t resist to take a 写真 of my 部屋. Because it hasn’t been this clean and well organized in a long long time… Man… It took me the whole afternoon to clean it, キラキラ☆

I have been wanting to clean it for so long, but I never had that motivation to do so… Then, Nabi, Naty and I decided to have Shabu Shabu and a party at my place, yes, here you go, motivation!!!

Table’s setting!!! 可愛い？

Preparing!!! Washing, cutting, and… Size checking, ha ha ha.

やった！We are ready!!! Sorry about my meat head. Lol.

Naty says… “写真time！”　Okay!

NatyとNabi！最高な二人。

Ha ha ha… Details, skipped!!! Here is the ending scene… As you can see… We went crazy and RANRAN was gone wild, again… Mu ha ha ha ha ha!!! That was a fun night, ちょうーーー楽しかったねー♪♪

先週の金曜日、私の親友クリスタさんと一緒に『マダガスカル2（Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa）』を見た。ははは、あのおじさんは面白かったですね…

あの日超寒かったです…　あぁぁぁー↓↓↓

黒いファーコートを買った。大好きなスタイル♪♪

またまた、星のイアリングも買った。綺麗だ！

一番大好きな映画のBlu-Rayも！超楽しかった♪♪

RANRANはコーヒーの大ファンです。

ワダーGIRLS!!!　ワダー★